Deadly Scrabble

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

When you rearrange the letters:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR

When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA

When you rearrange the letters:
ARAB DEATH

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

A wife mentioned to her husband that for her birthday, she would like something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in four seconds.
She was expecting something like this........ ....














.....
But her husband presented her with something very different...

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The husband is in a critical but stable condition in ICU! __

Awesome! B_O_M_B_A_Y

* Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
* Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
* There is no darkness in Andheri.
* Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
* No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .
* Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
* Nor is there any princess at Princess Street
* Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
* There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
* The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
* There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
* Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
* Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
* Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
* Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
* You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
* There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
* There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
* Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
* Null bazaar does not sell taps.
* You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
* Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
* Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
* Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
* Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
* Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
* Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
* But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!

Another Joke

A Husband makes a Call to Hospital to enquire about his pregnant wife.





But accidently the call went to a cricket stadium where Indian Team was
on bat.











He asked what is the condition.





He died after what he heard.



























































Guess What would be the reply ..

































































It is ....





























































































































7 are already out.













































































3 More will be out hopefully by lunch.























and ..................................



























































































































































The first one was a DUCK.

MBA vs BE

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition

organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......

An MBA and A BE went on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and

fell asleep. Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend.

"look up at the sky and tell me what you see?"

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment and then speaks

*"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent."** *

" ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE "

India's new EXAM pattern

Instructions to the students:

1. All questions to be answered by OC students
2. OBC students write questions only
3. SC students write questions no.s only
4. ST students just read the paper.
   

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When our cricketers die!!!!!

Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 75 and 76 years old,are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do everyday.


Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"

Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies,

"I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.

One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper,

"Sourav... Sourav!"

Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."

Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"

Sachin sighs and whispers,



"You are going to open the innings this Friday."

Have a Bad Day??? Read On..

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered.

The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.

After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.

So, the next time you think you are having a bad day~~

Think again~~It could be worse..!

Psychology

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er...
excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised,
shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.


After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,
and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how
people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.
THATS TOO MUCH !"

Indian Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USAhell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."

Lllaaaaaaaaaaawyerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssss

The United Wayrealized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful trial lawyer. So a United Wayvolunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Wayrep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."

The stricken United Wayrep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children one of whom is disabled and another has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Wayrep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea".

And the lawyer says, "If I didn't give money to them, what makes you think I would give to you?

Fun Questions

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US
has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given
a thought)

3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just
sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)

8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will
stay and watch)

13.What cam! e first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they
remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )

17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange
isnt it)

19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your
radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your
headlights on, what happens? (i dont have a change to try)

21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to
the core of the earth? (this is nice)

23.Wh! y do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when
you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

Titanic in TELUGU

Superhit film TITANIC is being remade in telugu.
Hero: Balakrishna
Heroine: Madonna
Title: "Saagaramlo Seema Veerudu".
However telugu people don't like to see the hero balayya die, the climax is changed. NBK jumps into the sea, catches madonna in the right hand and TITANIC in the left hand and swims to the seashore! and in the mean while there will be a climax fight between balu and shark.

what happens is suspense................

Indianized Titanic

If the Titanic was made in India:
1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship
2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain
3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"
4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip
5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson
6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC